"im praying that you and me might end up together, its like wishing for rain as i stand in the desert, but im holding you closer than most, cuz you are my heaven" i love that song! its on james' myspace, and now im obsessed with it. i feel like i can definetley relate to it. SO! its been eons since i last wrote on xanga, usually its livejournal, but i thought id switch it up, plus all my tags on livejournal are alex and everything to do with him. i dont really know what im writing about, i was just in a good mood thinking about james haha. i went over to his house last night to help him a drawing/ soon to be painting, and we ended up finger painting for about 2 hours outside. i kinda feel like im playing ping pong in my head lately. but everytime the ball goes to alex its dropped or missed completely. when it goes to james, i always get it back. haha kinda stupid but thats how things are going. im so grateful that i found james (we found each other). or else i mightve just kept going with alex, and wouldve never known how happy i couldve been. i realized for a couple days, that alex didnt even enter my mind when i was with james. and then sometimes i feel like im just being a bitch or something. im not being hateful or anything towards him, i do still care about his feelings. kinda. i mean it was 3 years, i cant just be like ok goodbye, i dont love u anymore. im not that cold hearted. but sometimes alex just makes me feel that i am. and then that makes me feel bad. but see thats exactly what i dont want. i dont want to have to feel bad for him. i want a man that can stand up for his feelings and not quiver. i want a softie at heart but not THAT soft! haha thats what makes me love james. hes sweet, but can stand up for himself, and hes not afraid of what people think. i may write more later, i have to go get ready for work. booooo. but i have tomorrow off, and so does james! and next week were leaving for our vacation!!!!!!!
IM ALIVE! but i think xanga is dead. heres a freakin loooooong survey bc im bored and lazy to actually get up and do something productive....
When was the last time you cried? saturday night Have you ever faked sick? yeah probably What was the last lie you said? "im fine" Have you ever cried during a movie? a little Who was the last person you couldn't take your eyes off of? alex Have you ever danced in the rain? i think so Have you ever been drunk? no Have you ever tried tried drugs? nope Do you smoke? no What's the farthest you've ever gone on a dare? hah i think when i was younger these girls made me lift up my shirt for one minute What is your full name? rebecca What is your blood-type? o positive i think Have you ever been in a car accident? no How old were you when you recieved your first kiss? 17 Who was your first kiss? alex Have you ever had an online relationship? yep Have you ever had phone-sex? ..... Have you ever been rejected by a crush? nope What is your favourite sport to play? if i had to pick itd either be basketball or soccer Have you ever made a prank phone call? yes Have you ever said "I Love you" and not meant it? no What's your favourite childhood memory? i think riding my bike to the park with my friend Is there anything that you have done that you regret? eh not really actually What do you want to be when you grow up? an awesome art therapist What is your political persuassion? say wah? i guess liberal? if thats what it means Have you ever had cybersex? uh.....n..o Do you believe in g-d? u mean god? yeah i think theres a higher being Do you believe in love at first sight? not really Do you believe in karma? yea sure Who was your first crush? alex Who do yo uhave a crush on? alex. How would you describe yourself? weird What are you afraid of? future, money Are you religious? not really What does your screen name mean? a book/music store in florida What person do you trust the most? alex Who was your first boyfriend/girlfriend? again alex What is the best compliment you have ever recieved? pssh i dont know What is the meanest thing anyone has said about you? i dont really wanna know... What is the longest crush/relationship you have had? 2 years What is your greatest strength? love What is your greatest weakness? thoughts in my head What is your perfect pizza? half cheese, half pepperoni What is your first thought when waking up in the morning? what do i have to do and why isnt alex next to me? What is your first thought before you go to bed? everything and anything What college do you want to go to? im at mu Do you get along with your family? sure Do you play any instruments? used to, clarinet What kind of music do you like? rock, alt rock Do you think you're attractive? *shrug* Would you ever get a tattoo? perhaps How many piercings do you have? none Who makes you laugh? friends and the boy Who would you want to be tied to for 24hours? alex weaver please Have you ever seen a dead body? well in a coffin yeah Do you have a celebrity crush? no What is one thing scientists should invent? time extender Have you ever broken a bone? no What happens after you die? happiness Do you watch or read the news? once in a great while What stereotype would you label yourself as being? myself Would your friends agree with that stereotypic label? yeah i think so If you could change your name, what would you change it to? just becky, not rebecca If you could go back in time to one point in your life, where would you go? hmm i odnt htink i would go back.... If you could change anything about yourself, what would you change? my nose and weight Have you ever gone skinny dipping? nope Have you ever played strip poker? nope Would you ever lie to someone to make them feel good about themselves? depends What do you want your friends to think about you? uh hello, i want them to like me... Whats the biggest argument you've ever gotten into? hah HAve you ever bitten someone? yuh huh When's your birthday? 4/4/88 Have you ever stolen anything? no Do you make wishes on shooting stars? sometimes Whats the most you've ever eaten in one sitting? who really pays attention If you could go back and change one day, what would it be? no idea Do you remember your dreams? only if its extremely weird or good Have you ever been in love? heck yes Are you a morning person or a night person? night Do you have any phobias? not really What's the meanest thing you've ever done to someone? pushed a girl down on the playground once in elementary school... Have you ever been to the hospital (other then birth? not for anything serious thank god How many screen names do you have? one Do any medical problems run in your family? *shrug* Have anyone ever been disowned from your family? no Have you ever had a nightmare? yeah Do you say meaner things to your friends or your enemies? i dont talk to enemies.... Would you ever participate in a threesome? eh no Would you ever pay for a prostititue? nooo Have you ever mooned or flashed someone? hah no Have you ever cheated on your bf/gf? no Have you ever laughed so hard you peed in your pants? haha yes Have you ever written a love letter? uh huh Have you ever attempted suicide? .....no? Do you prefer boxers or briefs? boxers Have you ever been in a fistfight? nope Do you have any hidden talents? how do i know if theyre hidden.... What is one thing you want me to know about you? whos "me"? so no What is one question you wouldn't want me to ask? jeez i dont care Do you usually prefer books or movies? usually the books are better Who is your favourite person to talk to? amanda or alex Who is always able to cheer you up when you're sad? alexander Would you ever have sex before marriage? perhaps Who do you talk to most on the phone? amanda or alex Do you have a secret that yo'ure ashamed of? not really Do you prefer british or american spelling of words? american Have you ever gotten detention? yes How do you vent your anger? not good Have you ever been on a diet? no Would you ever date someone younger than you? Older than you? younger no way, older yes Is your best friend a virgin? would she want me to tell you? What's a rumor someone has spread about you? who knows who cares What's the kinkiest thing you could ever actually see yourself as doing? haha What's the meanest thing anyone has ever done to you? this is stupid What's the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you? nothing Have you ever been diagnosed with a mental illness? not yet hah Have you ever cut yourself on purpose? ... Have you ever wanted to murder someone? no Have you ever hated someone? yes Do you prefer talking on the phone or online? both Do you consider yourself popular? no Would you ever tell the person you have a crush on that you like them? of course What is your favourite book? pirate Do you have a collection of anything? books Are you happy with the person you are becoming? for the most part Are you a different person now then you were 5 years ago? well yeah What do you see yourself as being in 5 years from now? oput of college, job, maybe married Are you happy with the life you have? for the most part, def could be some improvements
Post the first line from the first twenty-five songs that play (no cheating!) (haha i actually kinda did bc some songs i didnt even know what they were, or i didnt like them anymore.....)
I'll strike through the songs when someone guesses correctly.
You must say the band name and song name for it to count.
1. Do i stress you out, my sweater is on backwards and inside out. 2. well i saw you once then i blew it for the next ten thousand days. 3. I'm so happy cuz today i found my friends. 4. all these people wont leave me alone. 5. long as i remember the rain been comin' down. 6. i awoke the dawn saw horses growing out the lawn. 7. say yes (x 4 or something) im sorry it took me so long x3 8. you always reached out to me and helped me believe. 9. here in the light it burns you up inside. 10. if i had to i would put myself right beside you. 11. could you whisper in me ear the things you wanna feel. 12. purple haze all in my brain. 13. theres a pain that sleeps inside. it sleeps with just one eye 14. all aboard hit the road, all the bllsht cant be ignored. 15. im tired of being what you want me to be. 16. the pressure is building i want to break away. 17. and i didnt think about all the ways i hurt you and myself. 18. peace and love x2 thats all im thinking of baby peace and love. 19. tonight im freakin out again. 20. i have a foot to wrestle under the table. 21. i once knew a girl in the years of my youth. 22. sick of this mind and the games it plays. 23. i thought it was too good to be true. 24. must be something theyre hiding. 25. cant explain all the feelings youre makin me feel.
hahahha all the time i was typing this i could see a cartoon where each character would say each of these lines. pretty funny bc some make sense together. i could kinda become a story. it made me chuckle. like towards the beginning im so happy bc i found my friends and then all these ppl wont leave me alone. (cue the rest of the characters to come out) one come running out form nowhere screaming say yes say yes! im sorry it took me so long! and on and on i could write out the whole story/play but im done typing for now. i think u can kind of imagine the scenario ah hahaha. home on tuesday!
i know i havent written anything in a long time, well nothing really about whats going on with me, but ive been busy with end of the semester things. plus nothing too exciting to talk about.
now i want everyone to watch this video.....
His goal is to beat the world record of 350 million cards received. Remember that it takes 2 stamps to mail the envelope. And it has to be a store card, not a homemade card, to go towards the total, but homemade cards full of love are also welcome. PLEASE send this on to anyone and everyone u know. the only thing he is asking for is cards. its so simple. i think we could do it.
